Monthly Archives: November 2010

Get Fired Up! 3 Reasons Why Enthusiasm Will Make You A Better Coach

Coaching philosophy, Pyramid of success

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John Wooden is a coaching rock star and legend. So I thought, what better gift to give my readers during this holiday season than a series on Wooden’s Pyramid of Success? Join me for a series of posts that will delve into both the foundation and apex of his Pyramid and examine Wooden’s thoughts on Industriousness, Enthusiasm, Friendship, Loyalty, Cooperation, Competitive Greatness, and finally, Faith & Patience.

Enthusiasm

So I think the fact that I have a coaching blog and a Twitter account devoted to coaching shows that I’m pretty passionate about coaching in general…and volleyball in particular. But even before all of that, I made sure that every team that I coached understood how much I loved the sport. On that first day of practice, I would sit them down and tell them the ways that I love volleyball…I love the way the ball sounds as it’s being passed, I love the sound of the gym when everyone’s talking and playing hard, I love the cheers at the end of plays, and on and on I would go so that they understood that their coach was crazy about the sport. Let’s look at ways that coaches can create an atmosphere of enthusiasm on their teams and in their gyms.

3 ways to make your enthusiasm for your sport and job contagious

“You have to like what you’re doing, your heart must be in it.”
I love volleyball and I love coaching. It’s one of the first things that I say to recruits and at the beginning of each season. Whenever folks ask me what I’d do if I were a multi-millionaire…and I always say: coach volleyball. I love the sport and find it amazing that someone’s actually willing to pay me to do the one thing that I love and am good at! Because of my love of the sport, I believe that I’ve always attracted athletes of a similar mindset to whatever program I’m coaching…ladies who love to work the sport, learn about the sport, and get better at the sport.

“Enthusiasm brushes off on those with whom you come into contact.”
After you’ve been coaching at a program for a while, your athletes seem like they start to act like you a little, don’t they? And I think that’s because your love of the sport is brushing off on them. Your seniors will have had four years to bask in how fired up you are about coaching your sport, your juniors will feel the seniors’ love, while your underclassmen will assume that they’re supposed to love the sport because they’re following along with what your upperclassmen are doing. As a coach, you have the opportunity to create an environment where your players love the sport and love working hard at the sport.

“Leaders must always generate enthusiasm if they wish to bring out the best in themselves and those under their supervision.”
Our job, as coaches, is to lead people and inspire them to be greater and better than they ever thought that they could be. Our players should be able to look at us and know that we love what we do, we’re good at what we do, and we have their best interests at heart. Enthusiasm in those three areas will pay off dividends as we ask them to sacrifice their minds, bodies, and time. And taking the step just beyond that, we have the marvelous opportunity to model leadership to our student-athletes…to show them what true enthusiasm for your sport and craft looks like. I hope that none of us take that responsibility lightly.

Enthusiasm and Industriousness are the cornerstones of Wooden’s Pyramid…meaning that everything else stems from those two things. That’s good news because both of those things are completely within our control! Next up: Friendship.

Make Your Own Luck: 3 Reasons Why Hard Work Is Essential To Success

Coaching philosophy, Pyramid of success

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John Wooden is a coaching rock star and legend. So I thought, what better gift to give my readers during this holiday season than a series on Wooden’s Pyramid of Success? This is the first in a series of posts that will delve into both the foundation and apex of his Pyramid. Please join me as I examine Wooden’s thoughts on Industriousness, Enthusiasm, Friendship, Loyalty, Cooperation, Competitive Greatness, and finally, Faith & Patience.

Industriousness

What is success and how does one measure it? Early on in my career, I read John Wooden’s book, Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court and loved it. Oddly enough, I hadn’t heard about his Pyramid of Success at that time…and now it’s the basis of my entire coaching philosophy. He defines success as the “peace of mind that is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.” That’s pretty awesome, huh? My favorite aspect of that definition is that the control is in our hands…if we can say after every drill, every practice, every match, and every season that we’re satisfied with our effort, then we’ve been successful. Let’s examine at a few different ways to look industriousness.

3 areas where industriousness is essential

Preparation: “You have to work and work hard.” As coaches, we’ve got to be the hardest workers on the court…we can’t get out-worked by our athletes. That means practice planning has got to be on point, your scouting should leave your team feeling uber-confident, and your game plans for each opponent should be both reasonable and doable for your players.

In practice: “There is no substitute for work.” Everyone’s got to be all in about working hard. The players can’t control their playing time, their skill ceiling, what the opponent will do…but they can control their effort level. Some folks have been blessed with a high skill level , but low work ethic…that’s always a shame to see. While others are stuck with a low skill level, but high work ethic…that’s also a toughie. But when you’ve got a bunch of athletes who are able to find the sweet spot of high skill level paired with a high work ethic…good things can happen!

Off season: “A willingness to, an appetite for, hard work must be present for success.” For us coaches, we’ve got to be willing to put in the hours on the phones and in gyms in order to bring new blood to the program. We’ve also got to put a premium on learning…from our colleagues, clinics, seminars. Whatever it is, we owe it to ourselves and our teams to be lifelong learners about our sport. For the players, hard work is equally important. It could be that their hard work is in the training room doing rehab, or refocusing on their studies, or hitting it hard in the weight room. However their hard work for the betterment of the team is defined…they’ve got to be all about it.

Since you’re the coaching nerd that I know you are, I’m sure you were already doing that stuff and demanding those things from your team. This was just a friendly reminder that one of the cornerstones of any kind of success is hard work.

What Do Black Friday And Volleyball Training Have In Common?

Practice, Video sessions

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**Update: Apparently, Trainer Barry is so excited by the response that he’s extended the offer until Tuesday, November 30th…better get on it!**

There are a couple of sports Barry’s that you probably know about. One has a giant head and swears that it’s totally normal to get better at a sport once you’re in your forties. The other is my main man, Barry Sanders. Being from Michigan, I had the pleasure of watching many football games with him crushing the competition…but also the misfortune of still being a fan of the poor Lions since he’s retired. He was an animal, back in the day…super fun to watch.

But don’t you worry, we haven’t been left Barry-less! My friend Barry Lovelace of Volleyball Team Training (affiliate link) is here with a deal for you on this Black Friday. If you were crazy enough to get up this morning at 3 a.m. to go shopping, well, take a nap and read this post again later. If you woke up at a more reasonable hour, click on the link and read about how he can help you get the most from your athletes. I can help you with the mental side of things, but you’ll have to see Barry for the physical stuff.

Check him out! I know that all of our budgets have taken a big hit and if you’re looking to re-invigorate the training program that you already have or put together a whole new program…Barry’s videos (and his free Skype consultation!) will help you out. Click here for Barry’s information on volleyball specific training drills as well as lots of core exercises. And in the spirit of Black Friday craziness, you can get five of his training videos and a consultation for only $39…plus you don’t have to get up at 3 a.m. and wait outside in the cold to be the first one in the store!

Something In Common: Planning For Thanksgiving Dinner And Planning For A Season

Coaching strategy, Time management

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It’s that time of the year…time for family and friends and eating and eating and eating! I enjoy the holidays because my family is all over the country and this is our time to reconnect with one another. I was sitting here thinking about that and then I got to thinking about how planning a large family gathering is like planning a season. Here are a few of the correlations…see what you think!

**3 ways that planning for a season is like getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner**

1. Map it out: If you’ve ever had to plan a big meal like Thanksgiving dinner, you know that you can’t just start cooking. You’ve got to begin with the end in mind, like Franklin Covey says. You sit down and create a menu, a corresponding grocery list, and divvy up jobs in order to make it all come together. It’s the same for planning out a season. You and your assistants sit down and figure out where you’d like the program to be at the end of the next season, then you figure out what the program needs in terms of equipment, personnel, and training. Finally, you get the right people involved to make it happen.

2. People: We all look forward to dinner at mom’s house where we gather together after a long time apart…and also meeting any new additions. Usually a cousin or an aunt or uncle will bring along a special someone that has “the regulars” slyly checking them out in order to render the verdict of approval or disapproval. That’s sounds a lot like the first day of practice, right? All of the returners are happy to see each other, doling out hugs and smiles to teammates that they haven’t seen in a while. The upperclassmen are happy to be older and wiser, the sophomores are happy that they aren’t freshmen, and the freshmen? They have no idea who anyone is or what exactly is going on…they’re a tad bit uncomfortable to say the least.

3. Nothing goes as planned: With a big project like Thanksgiving dinner, something’s going to go wrong…that’s pretty much guaranteed. It’s just a matter of whether it’s a big something or a little something. It’s the same thing with our seasons. We pray that whatever goes wrong is small and easily fixed, and not something gigantic…like a season-ending injury to a starter (who you wrote down in your season plan was essential to any success your program would have that year) or major budget cuts to the department or your program. Ideally, you and your coaching staff are on top of the small stuff to nip it in the bud before it becomes a major problem.

I pray that everyone has a happy and safe Thanksgiving and that you’re able to get to your destinations on time and enjoy your families. While you’re sitting with them, take a bit of time to be thankful for your athletic family (your team!) and the opportunity we have to coach amazing young people.

Coach As Puzzle Solver: The Joys And Challenges Of Figuring Out Your Team

Leadership, Personality tests, Team chemistry

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I sometimes think folks think this coaching gig is a walk in the park. Learn about your sport, tell the team what to do, and sit down and let the magic happen. But as we all know, our teams are like one giant if/then clause: you know what I mean…if A, then B. Like: if Susie had a good practice, then her Genetics exam went well. Or, if Susie misses her serve, then she’ll shank the next pass. There are literally millions of different scenarios that we have to rummage through in our mental files as we deal with our teams to try and extract the best from them. And that’s the beauty of coaching! So let’s look at four common problems that coaches love to mull over and find answers to:

4 puzzles that coaches love to solve

  • Recruits: Every coach knows that each potential student-athlete is different and walks into their office with a different set of things that they’re looking for in a school and program that “fits” them. Figuring out who the significant adult is in their recruits life, what makes her tick, what she’s looking for in a school is the challenge that each coach faces. And not just that, but how that recruit will fit in with the current makeup of their team and, of course, how she will contribute on the court are all concerns of the puzzle-loving coach.
  • Individuals: Just like every recruit is different, everyone on your team is different as well. They’ve got different outside interests, different personality types, and different motivations for being on the team. Some of your players need you to speak sternly to them…others will cry when spoken to with that same tone. Some of them need to watch video before they understand what you’ve told them a million and twenty five times already. Your seniors, who’ve seen your act for three years already, know you well (when you’re serious…and when you’re really serious) so your expectation level can be higher for them than others on the team.
  • Teams: Just like every recruit and individual is different…every team is different. Some will have amazing leaders and you can sit back and chill, while others will have poor leadership that will keep you on your toes in terms of gauging the team temperature. Some will be super close and friendly, while others will have to manufacture their “team time”. No matter what, though, they’re all different…even if there’s only one new person added to the mix, because each player has grown up (or not) and has new challenges in their lives that have nothing to do with sport. As each team member grows and changes, so will your team.
  • Seasons: I’m sure you’re sensing the theme here, so you know that I’m about to say that every season is different. Some seasons will be a walk in the park, while others will challenge you to become a better coach for your team. Some seasons will be magical, ending with a championship just like you’d hoped and planned…while others will crash and burn, leaving you scratching your head trying to figure out what happened. Some seasons will fly by, while others will drag on and on with you counting down the days until it’s over. The thing that all seasons have in common is the fact that they can teach us about: our recruiting plan (what worked and what you need in the future), how we deal with our teams individually (as you learn more and more about the members of your team), and how to deal with our teams as a whole (as they change and grow, the team will change and grow).


Can you think of anything that I forgot? What puzzles have you had to solve as a coach?

Riding The Pine: When To Bench A Player

Coaching strategy, Team chemistry, Team roles

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“The bench screams.” –Ron Wilson, Head Coach, Toronto Maple Leafs

My general philosophy in life is to say what you mean and mean what you say. But how long is too long to keep saying the same thing to a player? You’ve told her for an entire season that she’s got to square up to target or keep her elbow high…whatever the correction, she’s just not getting it. And if she is getting it, she surely isn’t making the changes that you’d like to see. So when your throat is sore from yelling and your eyes tired from rolling…maybe it’s time to let the bench do the talking.

3 reasons to bench a player…short term

  • Give them a breather: Maybe it’s a freshman who’s freaking out at her first conference match or a senior who’s emotional during senior night, sometimes a player just needs to take a deep breath and refocus. It may only take a couple of points for her to calm down and come back to herself.
  • Get a spark from your reserves: If your team is stuck in a skill and/or energy rut, a reserve player can be just the ticket! You’ll probably go back to your original lineup, but it’s nice to know that you can count on your entire team to contribute to your success.
  • Light a fire under them: Hopefully after you’ve taken that starter out to get a spark from the bench, they begin to realize that they need to step their game up. The ideal reaction would be for that player to come back onto the court and be an absolute monster out there. She should want to erase any sort of doubt you may have about her ability to positively contribute to the team.


3 reasons to bench a player…long term

  • Lack of effort: She’s just going through the motions in practices and games. If your team has always prided itself on having a “whatever it takes” attitude to their play, lack of effort is a slap in the face to you, as their coach, as well as their teammates who expect their effort level to be matched. A player can only control their skill level and playing time to a certain degree, but effort is completely within their control. Lack of effort is a choice…and a bad one, in my opinion.
  • Not continuing to get better, getting passed up: During preseason, you can always tell the folks who worked their tails off in the off-season. Typically because they’re in such good shape, their skill level is higher at the beginning of the season. Then slowly, but surely, the rest of the team catches up and eventually blows right by them. As coaches, we want to reward the player that worked hard when no one was looking, so we pull her aside and let her know our concerns…and nothing. She’s gotten passed up and it’s time to sit her down.
  • Your starters are awful: There’s a point in the season where it’s time to look to the future. Your team’s shot at winning the conference are long gone and you’ve got a bench full of players who haven’t played all season. So why not give them a shot? If you’re out of contention, that means the starters haven’t been getting it done anyway, so how much worse could your reserves do? Bench the starters and start the bench…they may not be as skilled, but I’ll bet their effort level will be crazy high.


So there you are…use your bench as a motivating tool and your team may be better off for it.

Believing And Achieving: 3 Ways To Encourage Belief In Ourselves And Our Athletes

Coaching philosophy, Coaching strategy, Mental game

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“Don’t be controlled by fear, but by belief.” –Jerry Angelo, General Manager, Chicago Bears

If the only thing to fear is fear itself (thanks FDR!), is the only thing to believe belief itself? Let’s look at three ways belief plays a role in the lives of players and coaches.

Belief: For the player

1. Bravery in practice: Whether it’s because you’ve got a punishment riding on their performance or they’re just too hard on themselves, some of our athletes just won’t lay it all on the line at practice…and because of that, they won’t get better. The practices that are the most fun and energetic are when your athletes are trying new shots and techniques…the ones where you watch them muddle through and start to see the glimmer of excitement as they realize they’re mastering a skill. Let’s help our athletes to be brave and try new things.

2. In-game confidence: These are the athletes that stare down the server when she’s at the baseline, silently daring her to deliver her best shot. These are the folks who you go to when you’re in desperate need of a sideout. They don’t always deliver (no one does), but you keep going to them because you see no fear when you look them in the eyes.

3. Overcoming tough situations: The longer the season goes, typically the better and higher the level of play and competition. The athletes that are afraid will shrink from the challenge, but your brave athletes who believe in themselves, their team, and the plan will rise to the occasion.

Belief: For the coach

1. Recruiting: Perhaps you think that there’s no way that you could land a certain recruit…because she’s at a higher level than your team or she’s being wooed by schools bigger than you. That’s where belief in your institution, your program, your team, and yourself will come into play. While you can’t be sure that the belief you hold will pay dividends, you can be pretty positive that no recruit wants to play for a coach who’s afraid of a tough situation.

2. In-game confidence: There are times when you know what you need to do…whether it’s a sub or benching a player, those are tough things to do mid-game. That’s where belief in your reserves and your training will come into play. You’ve got to believe that all of the practice situations you’ve put your team through will pay off in the end.

3. Be who your team needs you to be: Some coaches are afraid of their teams thinking that they’re playing favorites, so they treat everyone on the team the same. But we should all know by now that different athletes require different techniques. Some of your players need you to mama bear them, some need you to put a metaphorical foot in their behind, while others need you to be their cheerleader. In order to get the most out of each member of your team, you’ve got to be willing to be all things to all people.

Let’s all embrace our inner Braveheart and commit to showing our athletes how to do the same.

Why Women’s Athletics? Selling Its Benefits In Tough Economic Times

Female athletes, Published articles, Title IX

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You can read the published version of this article in the Fall 2010 NCAA Champion magazine.

Do you know what your team’s view of Title IX is? More than likely, they view their athletic selves as the balance for men’s athletics…and I’d say that that should not be the case. Women’s athletics stands alone as important and beneficial without the need to “balance out” athletic departments. Viewing volleyball and softball and field hockey as existing solely to enable men to play their sports and be in compliance with the law is a pretty powerless and pathetic existence.

I read a great article on the Financial Times website titled, “A Good Economist Knows the True Value of the Arts”, which talked about how the arts, hospitals, and sports try to demonstrate their relevance by selling their economic value. I’m sure you’ve heard the schpiel: women’s volleyball is helping the university by bringing families onto campus and they’re buying concessions, the concessions stand is employing workers, and the facility is able to employ more folks for maintenance and crowd control. But the author asserts that those are costs, not benefits, and that the savvy athletic director should (if it all comes down to finances) cut volleyball because the financial benefit does not come close to the financial cost taken on by the college. Here’s a great quotation from that article:

The value of an activity is not what it costs, but the amount by which its benefit exceeds its costs. The economic contribution of sport is in the pleasure participants and spectators derive, and the resulting gains in health and longevity. That value is diminished, not increased, by the resources that need to be diverted from other purposes.

So if finances aren’t the way to sell women’s athletics to our colleagues (who may silently believe that we are there for balance only) or the higher ups who are taking hard looks at the budget…what are our selling points? Where are the places that, like the quotation above says, the benefits of women’s athletics exceed its costs? There are many advantages to sports participation that will stay with its participants for life, here are a few.

Health Young ladies who participate in sports reduce their chance of getting breast cancer by 60% according to Journal of the National Cancer Institute (1994)…at a time where one in eight women have gotten or will be diagnosed with breast cancer, that’s huge! On top of that, it’s been proven that performing weight bearing exercises while young will help fight off osteoporosis later in life.

Mentors Little girls need to see that sports are for them too. They need to see that women can be aggressive and competitive and achievers…that’s where our teams come in! I don’t know about you, but I was never the stereotypical “girly girl”, wearing pink and playing with dolls, so sports participation was always a part of my life. But what if, through watching our athletes play, that stereotype shifted to include having a lacrosse stick or golf club in her hand?

Learning to excel in a team environment Go to any business magazine or read any book designed for managers and you’ll see the word “team” over and over again. The ability to strive within a team construct should be the hallmark of women’s athletics. Our athletes learn leadership, how to win and lose with grace, how to recognize strengths and weakness in themselves and others…and use those to their advantage, and how to perform under pressure. All characteristics that will serve them well after their time on our fields and courts is over.

Let’s all agree to talk to our teams about what they do and why it’s important. To explain that both men’s and women’s athletics can stand on their own respective two feet…both strong and autonomous. By doing this, we will equip them to answer the question: why women’s athletics?

What has your department done in terms of educating your student athlete population? How about education for the coaching staff? Any other ideas?

Good Is The Enemy Of Great: How Perfectionism Is Killing Your Team

Mistakes, Pyramid of success, Team chemistry

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It’s amazing that people admit to being perfectionists. To me, it’s a disorder, not unlike obsessive-compulsive disorder. And like obsessive-compulsive disorder, perfectionism messes you up. It also messes up the people around you, because perfectionists lose perspective as they get more and more mired in details. –bnet.com

Most sports don’t require perfection from their participants, so where does this idea of being perfect come from and how can we get rid of it? I was over at bnet.com reading a great article titled, “Perfectionism Is A Disease. Here’s How To Beat It”, when it hit me that many times our athletes are saddled with this problem and need to be freed of it. So let’s look at how we can help our teams understand that continual improvement, not perfection, is the goal.

**Three ways to combat perfectionism on our teams**

We learn through our mistakes. “If we don’t want anyone to know we make mistakes, which is how perfectionists tend to behave, we are actually hiding our true selves.” As coaches, we’ve got to be sure to create a practice environment conducive to making mistakes. After all, if they can’t make mistakes in practice, where can they make them? If they’re going to get better, they’re going to have to test their limits and that will involve making mistakes. I talk about this very thing in my post, 3 Reasons Why Making Mistakes Is Vital To Your Team’s Success. I wonder if this is what happens to those “potential” players who never seem to be as good as advertised…

Set your sights on being a hard worker, not perfect. “A lot of times perfectionism is a way to avoid focusing on goals.” In my post, So You Want To Be An Excellent Coach?, I talk about the theory that it takes about 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to gain expertise in a field. What that means for our athletes is that they just need to put in the time and be committed to being good. It means that when they’re willing to work on the skill that is lacking, time and elbow grease will reap rewards. This perspective takes every excuse away. There’s no more, “well, Susie is just a better athlete than me”, but rather, “Susie was just willing to work harder than me.” And that’s not an excuse, that’s just sad.

Create a super teamy team. “Teams do better work when everyone on the team likes everyone else.” Getting along goes a long way to helping people to accept their team roles, creating great team chemistry, and smoothing out the rough edges of a season. The cornerstones of John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success are hard work and enthusiasm and the other three blocks that make up the base are: friendship, loyalty, and cooperation. The whole idea of the Pyramid is that the things that helped Wooden’s teams win ten national championships in twelve years are represented on the Pyramid…with the most essential items at the bottom to make up the foundation. I wrote about it in my post, How Watching Toy Story 3 Can Teach The Essentials Of Teamwork.

Let’s all agree to battle the perfection infestation by creating coaching philosophies and environments that help our athletes get better and challenge themselves.

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Tom Hanks Was Right…There’s No Crying In Sports

Coaching strategy, Mistakes, Youth sports

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Here is Pet Peeve #249: players that cry in practice. You’re probably thinking, “oh Dawn, you’re so heartless, sometimes there’s a good reason for crying…stop being so mean!” In my mind though, there’s never a reason to put self before team and that’s exactly what crying in practice or a game does. Now, I’m not talking about tears that are the result of an injury or yay-we-just-won-the-championship tears…those are both acceptable reasons for crying in sports. I’m talking about the tears that stem from frustration, anger, or just plain lack of knowledge as to how one’s behavior affects others. Let’s look at why I have such a strong opinion about crying and what you should do when faced with a crier in practice.

4 Reasons Why Tears Aren’t The Answer

1. It’s selfish. When a player cries in a practice or game, they’re saying that their interests are more important than the team’s…plain and simple.

2. It’s distracting. When there’s a player that cries, the team and coach have a decision to make: do we attend to the emotional player or do we get work done here at practice or our game? That’s not fair! Their teammates shouldn’t have to debate whether they’re being awful people just because they want to focus on the task at hand.

3. It shows lack of respect. The crier doesn’t respect the work that the coach has put into practice planning, because we’ve got a time schedule to keep. They don’t respect their teammate’s focus or desire to get better at practice. And in turn, if it’s not nipped in the bud, the crier could lose the respect of their coach and teammates.

4. It shows lack of control. There’s no age that’s too young to start teaching our athletes how to manage their emotions. After all, isn’t that the beauty of sports? They’ll learn how to win and lose with grace, how to earn or lose a starting spot, and how to succeed and fail in front of others…it’s great! It’s also our job as their coaches to teach them how to handle life’s ups and downs without it negatively impacting the lives of others.

So You’ve Got A Crier…Now What?

1. Explain the points above. If you don’t explain those things, they’ll just think you’re being mean…which could spawn more tears (*sigh*) and an exponentially higher level of frustration for you as their coach. They need to understand that those four things above are contrary to any sort of team success and because of that, you can’t let it slide.

2. Acknowledge whatever their situation is. Their boyfriend broke up with them, they failed a huge test, they’re playing at an amazingly awful level…whatever it is, you get it, right? You understand why they’d want to cry, why they’re frustrated, and why they feel like they can’t handle it anymore. You get it…you just won’t tolerate it, because you and the team still have work to do.

3. Remind them that they’ve got a mouth. They’ve got to use their words. You’re a reasonable human being, right coach? If they came to you with a legitimate problem or concern, you’d listen and the two of you would work it out together, right? Let them know that you’ll be there for them…but only when they can behave like an adult. You love them and care for them, but poor behavior is poor behavior and it’s not to be tolerated.

4. Give them a break. Sometimes the crier can get themselves together and refocus. Sometimes they can’t and you might have to give them a break. But it’s got to be legit…you can’t hold it against them! You can’t say on one hand: come to me like an adult and I’ll listen and we’ll work it out…and then when the crier tells you the problem, you yell or scream or are just generally pissed. Maybe you make them finish practice with the understanding that they’re going to be terrible, or maybe you send them home knowing that they’ll be better the next day.

So there you are folks, this is a tough one for a lot of coaches…tears are powerful and disarming. But stand your ground and turn the situation into a teachable moment.