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I think I’m very reasonable and easy to approach. I pride myself on having an open-door policy where my athletes can come in and chat with me…whenever. I don’t think I’m intimidating or scary, so why do they go to my assistant coach when they have an outside of the box suggestion?

Because I’m the boss and they’re worried I’m going to bring the smackdown on them if they upset me. Now, is there any reason for them to think this? Nope, but they do anyway. In his post, 20 Ways To Disagree With Your Boss over at Leadership Freak, he talks about some rules of the road that could be helpful with our teams. Not only for disagreements, but for maintaining good harmony on the team.

5 ways our players can disagree with us without fearing for their lives

1. Ask what to do if you disagree before disagreements emerge. When I first started working here, the team I inherited had a player restricted from playing in the post season due to a substance abuse issue. In my first captains meeting, they asked me how we were going to handle those types of issues during the season. Being able to address it before it actually was a problem was a great way to set a baseline expectation.
2. Come with the facts. So say we’ve got an actual disagreement on our hands. Maybe we’ve got a playing time conundrum or even a team discipline disconnect, our players have to come to us with more than just “I feel”. You know how it goes: “I feel like Susie is a better player than Erica so she should play more” or “I feel like suspending Katie for a game isn’t fair”. Coming with facts will earn the coach’s respect so much more than basing everything on feelings.
3. Private is better than public. I’m sure we’ve all coached that player who thinks they know more than we do. Rather than reduce them to a puddle of tears by verbally assaulting them, remind the players that practice time is for the team and private issues should be handled privately. Though if they’ve got a skill question, others on the team might have it too and answering could prove to be helpful for everyone.
4. Ask if you can test your option to see how it works. I don’t know about you guys out there, but most times I do what I do because it’s what’s familiar to me. It’s not that I don’t understand there are different ways to do the very same thing. I’m sure if we let our teams know that we’re open to different ideas, they’d be more at ease with approaching us.
5. Drop it. This one is important for the team to grasp…after it’s over, it’s over. Speaking directly to the players out there: You approached your coach like an adult, with facts. You wisely scheduled a meeting with her so that you could speak with her in private. Great job! Whether she bought it and is willing to try your suggestion or she shot you down, you can’t be in the lockerroom bragging about how awesome you are or how awful the coach is (depending on their reaction)…you gotta let it go.

Hopefully these tips will help our players feel more comfortable talking to us about difficult topics.